Even though I have little respect for Mitt Romney, it’s kind of painful watching him squirm and demand apologies from the Master of Distraction. The Kenyan Kid and his army of political henchmen are squishing the Massachusetts Jellyfish with questions about his past tax returns, his financial holdings in Switzerland, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands, his supposed overseas outsourcing of jobs — even his tying his dog to the roof of his car.
Conservatives are shouting advice to the Massachusetts Jellyfish from every direction, urging him to get tough and aggressive with BHO, but they can’t seem to rehabilitate him. The compassionate side of me would like to tell the Jellyfish to respond to BHO by saying: “Tell you what. I’ll show all my past tax returns in exchange for your showing all of your college records, papers, and thesis — plus, of course, the original of your long-form birth certificate.”
Now the word is that the Jellyfish may actually be preparing to outstupid himself by nominating yet another tried-and-true jellyfish, Timid Timmy Pawlenty. You know, the guy who dubbed Obamacare “Obamneycare.” Now that’s what you call aggressive.
The only problem is that when CNN’s John King called on Timid Timmy to look the Jellyfish in the eye in a Republican presidential debate and stand behind his Obamneycare remark, you would have thought he was Mitt Romney.
He stumbled and fumbled and dodged and ducked until he succeeded in filibustering his way around the issue. Though I’m not a big fan of jellyfish in general, I was truly embarrassed for the Minnesota Jellyfish.
Then, poof! Just like that, Timid Timmy dropped out of the race. These tough blue-collar guys are scary, aren’t they? Can you imagine two guys wearing pink pantyhose running on the same ticket?
In the meantime, Obama is becoming bolder by the day, with his latest eye-popping statement being, “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.” It was right out of the Communist Manifesto.
If Obama keeps opening his oversized community-organizer mouth with outlandish anti-American, anti-business statements, perhaps enough Americans will wake up in time to make it possible for the Jellyfish to pull out a victory in November. But if the Massachusetts Jellyfish selects the Minnesota Jellyfish as his running mate, he’s a true masochist.
And even if the jellyfish combo managed to get elected, what would the game plan be — to spend the next four years praising Der Fuhrbama for all the good work he did in bringing down the U.S. economy? And, of course, repeatedly telling the left-wing media and the public what a nice guy Obama is?
I wonder if there’s a civilization on some faraway planet in our universe where the political process is actually sane and uncorrupted? Or, better yet, where there is no government at all.
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ROBERT RINGER is a New York Times #1 bestselling author and host of the highly acclaimed Liberty Education Interview Series, which features interviews with top political, economic, and social leaders. He has appeared on Fox News, Fox Business, The Tonight Show, Today, The Dennis Miller Show, Good Morning America, The Lars Larson Show, ABC Nightline, and The Charlie Rose Show, and has been the subject of feature articles in such major publications as Time, People, The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Barron's, and The New York Times.
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